Long time no-bloggy, I know, and this won't be an especially long post, but this piece of news is just too ridiculous not to post.
Bloody-Disgusting reports today that Dimension Films is planning on remaking The Amityville Horror. Getting a sense of deja-vu? Yeah, The Amityville Horror, that was remade in 2005 by Platinum Dunes. I honestly cannot fathom what could have changed so much in five years to merit re-doing the story. Along with the recent news that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre will be remade (again) - this time in 3D! - I'm starting to wonder if Hollywood horror has really, really lost its mind now.
The news about Chainsaw annoys me more than anything, because I do love that film (I would say franchise, but let's be honest - it's only #2 I love as much), primarily due to the suggestion of 3D being used. Now, I'm a big fan of 3D. I think it worked brilliantly in The Final Destination - because that's a silly gimmicky film making good use of a silly, gimmicky technology. I think it's used brilliantly in a film like Pixar's Up, because its judicious use makes for a wonderful enhancement of their already beautiful images. In the same way that the suggestion of the Hellraiser remake being in 3D annoys the hell out of me, Chainsaw just does not need it. Just because a film has a guy wielding a chainsaw in it, does not mean it's necessary to make that chainsaw fly out of the screen at your audience. What the first remake* completely failed to recreate was the sense of violent dread of the original film - Chainsaw is extremely violent, and extremely disturbing, but extremely gory, it sure as hell ain't. Another remake using 3D - surely the ultimate in visual artifice - is only moving further and further away from what made the original so, so successful.
As much as I'd love to think that re-remaking Chainsaw and Amityville is due to a dislike for the Platnium Dunes versions, I don't believe for a second there's any sort of dedication to the original films nor integrity of artistry involved here. Stories will just get watered down until there's nothing left, and what will they remake then? Maybe Hollywood will get back to searching out original ideas and not a quick buck.
*I almost used the phrase 'original remake' here. Original remake? Why did I even write that? These days, that's the most oxymoronic phrase I can imagine!